Transparency vs Vulnerability in Hockey Coaching: Which Approach is More Effective?

As a hockey coach, I've made personal decisions in the past that have had negative consequences on my life. It was as if I had thrown dynamite into my life, leaving behind a rubble that I had to rebuild. Through this experience, I learned valuable life lessons, but I also experienced a lot of shame that I still struggle with today.

As I find myself in situations where I can share those experiences with other hockey coaches, I've learned that it's important to choose the right approach - transparency or vulnerability.

What is the difference?

At first glance, transparency might seem like the obvious choice, especially in a society where we are constantly bombarded with information and insights into everyone's lives through social media. However, when it comes to effective coaching, vulnerability is a more powerful tool.

What is transparency?

Transparency is about not hiding anything. It implies "Hey, you can look inside my life." However, it stops right there. You can take a look at what is under the hood but that is as far as it goes. In this scenario, someone will share the wrongs of their past. Perhaps it was a horrid divorce, career fails, or moments of dishonesty. On the surface it sounds meaningful but at the core it is a narrative which mainly serves the ego. It is a "look at me and my battle scars" approach but it lacks significant depth. Enter vulnerability.

What is vulnerability?

Vulnerability, on the other hand, is about embracing heart over facts. It's about opening up and inviting others to share your experiences with you, and using those experiences to learn and grow as a team. It also implies look inside my life but do it with me. Tell me how I could have done better. Show me where I went wrong. Share with me what I can do moving forward. It creates opportunity and openness to change. In other words, it is cemented in humbleness which is the hallmark of inclusive leadership.

Next Steps

As a hockey coach, vulnerability is key to building a deeper connection with your team. It requires a humble heart and an openness to change. When you embrace vulnerability, you create opportunities for your team to share their thoughts and feedback with you, and you can use that feedback to improve your coaching style and build a stronger, more inclusive team.

Parting Advice

Transparency and vulnerability are often used interchangeably, but they are very different concepts. As a hockey coach, it's important to choose vulnerability over transparency in order to build a deeper connection with your team and create a culture of openness and growth.