The Mental Game: How to Avoid Discouragement in Hockey

I remember when I got my first dose of discouragement in the world of entrepreneurship. I spent several weeks developing a brand name, logo, web site, and business plan. I thought my business idea was absolutely brilliant and all I needed next was to buy inventory.

Enter discouragement.

I called up my father who was a CFO at the time and asked him to help me run through the numbers. The result was grim. As a 24 year old with no cash and no savings I would somehow need to conjure up $500,000 just to avord inventory to launch this venture. Keep in mind, that number does not include overhead, marketing expenses, hosting fees, and so forth.

I was over my head. I was disheartened. I was frustrated. I was experiencing all the symptoms of discouragment -  all which are deadly attributes for any athlete.

What is Discouragement in Hockey?

Discouragement in hockey refers to the exact same state of mind which I shared above. It is when a player has low confidence due to a perceived lack of success or progress. It is a negative emotional response that can be caused by a variety of factors, such as losing games, making mistakes, not meeting personal expectations, facing tough opponents, or feeling unsupported by coaches or teammates.

It is a deadly force which negatively impacts performance on the ice, leading to decreased effort, motivation, and focus, which can further contribute to a downward spiral of damaging emotions and outcomes.

So, let's take this one step further. How can you or even your teammates and coach notice it? Well, it appears in a varitey of different forms.

What Does Discouragement Look Like?

As mentioned above, discouragement in hockey can manifest itself in several ways, and its signs and symptoms can vary from player to player. Here are some common examples of what discouragement can look like in hockey:

Lack of Confidence

If I ask you to describe a person who lacks confidence you provide me with descriptors like: defeated appearance, shallow breaths, an unhappy face, a slumped over body position, and so forth. With that being said, it is fairly easy to pinpoint someone who is discouraged because they lack confidence. They doubt themselves. They hesitate. They move slowly. They overthink. Simply, they lack confidence on and off the ice.

Decreased Effort

The doubt and hesitation ultimately results in decreased effort. Discouraged hockey players may not hustle as much, and their intensity and focus may decrease. Look around you. You may spot these guys and gals at your next practice. They are just going through the motions rather than playing with energy and enthusiasm. Motivation is absent. Urgency is depleted. Their love for the game is disappearing.

Frustration

These same players who are lacking drive and hustle silo themselves in a world of frustration. They are frustrated with themselves, their teammates, or the game itself. If these feelings of frustration escalate it can emerge as anger or other inappropriate behavior like slamming their stick on the ice, screaming at a teammate, or talking back to a coach.

Negative Self-Talk

It should be no surprise that discouragement can also lead to negative self-talk, where players criticize themselves and focus on their mistakes rather than their successes. They get stuck in their own head and can not change the programming of their own mental television. Their mind continues to loop negative concepts around their self-imagery with no end in sight. You will often here them say outloud or to themselves phrases like "I'm a screw up" or "I'm not good enough."

Withdrawal

And finally, the most detrimental signs of discouragement is withdrawal. A discouraged hockey player may appear disengaged or distant. Their body is their physically for practice and games but their mind is somewhere else - removed and isolated from the sport. This is dangerous territory where players, coaches, and parents need to be intentional about reminding the player why they fell in love with the game so the feelings of withdrawal can be brought to an end.

At this point, we have defined what discouragement looks like in the sport of hockey. Let's now shift our conversation towards developing strategies which can be utilized to overcome and avoid it.

Tips and Strategies

Here are some tips on how to avoid discouragement in hockey and maintain a positive mental game:

Set Realistic Goals

I love the process of goal setting but sometimes I aim too high. For instance, I am a huge advocate for setting positive habits and routines. One of these is habits is reading 52 books in 52 weeks. It is a noble goal but it is often unrealistic given what I already have on my plate. In the 10 years I have tried it, I have only achieved it once.

One of the main reasons hockey players become discouraged is because like me they set unrealistic goals for themselves. While it is important to have big aspirations, it is also important to set achievable short-term goals. By setting small, attainable goals, you can build confidence and momentum. In the case of my book reading, I should start with 1-2 books per month and then build from there.

Stay Focused on the Process

Hockey like the game of life is a series of ups and downs. Life happens, and it is easy to get caught up in the moment and become obsessed with the present demands happening right now. However, it is important to remember success is a process, and it does not happen overnight. What truly matters is how you have been performing from a big picture perspective.

I remember having to cut a 100 mile bike ride short at the 82 mile mark during my Ironman training. I called my coach and expressed my frustration. Within seconds he reminded me about the big picture. I did not miss my workouts. I showed up. Ninety percent of my workouts were in the books at a high level of quality, and one short bike ride would not hinder me from crossing the finish line. Stay focused on the process and trust that your hard work will pay off.

Control What You Can Control

Since we are on the topic of biking, I have done countless long rides in the cold and rain where I wanted nothing more than for the sun to make an appearance so I could warm up and ride safely. I can not control the weather. You can not control it either. There are many variables in hockey that are out of your control, such as the performance of your teammates or the decisions of the referees. However, you can control your own effort, attitude, and preparation. Focus on these things and let go of what you can not control. Any time or energy you expend on elements outside of yourself is simply wasted effort.

Learn from Failure

Here is a sad reality: you will fail. You will makes mistakes. You will let down yourself. You will let down your teammates. You will let down your coach. What matters in the end is how you emerge from those failures. Do you use those setbacks to learn lessons or do you use them to make you fall back in your athletic and emotional development? The choice is yours.

I like to look at failure as one of my best friends. I still remember moments where I could have sprinted to the finish line, done five more reps, or stayed out on the trail ten more minutes. Simply, there are countless times where I quit too early. I failed myself.

My failures have taught me so much about my strengths and weaknesses as an athlete. In addition, they have provided clarity on my levels of mental toughness and how much I can truly endure. I have used this experience and wisdom to look at each minor and major failure now as a learning opportunity. So, the lesson for you is this: analyze what went wrong and how you can improve for next time.

Stay Positive

One of the biggest enemies of discouragement is positivity. Optimism. Enthusiasm. Gratitude. These are all anti-discouragement themes. It is easy to get caught up in negative thinking when things are not going well so it is vitally important to stay positive. A great way to start is by changing your feelings because your feelings dicate your thinking and your thinking dictates how you play the game. In a nutshell, be aware of how you feel and practice positive self-talk so you can change your feelings. If you can change your feelings, you will think and act like a better player.

Parting Advice

Discouragement. It is a loaded word. There is so much complexity behind this concept. But, here is the good news. If you follow these tips and strategies, you can develop a strong mental game and avoid discouragement in hockey. It just takes an extra does of awareness and proactiveness to manage or avoid it completely.